Feeling embarrassed to ask for help? You’re not alone.

Feeling embarrassed to ask for help? You’re not alone.
Userlevel 7
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Let’s get honest - asking for help can be really hard. We’re embarrassed and sometimes afraid of feeling rejected if we don’t get the help we need. But the truth is, eventually, everyone needs help. 

 

So, why should I bother asking for help?

Believe it or not, most people want to help. Humans find satisfaction in helping others and actually enjoy doing so– there’s lots of science behind this! Getting over that initial fear of asking is the hardest part. We’ve found that once people take that leap, others aren’t actually judging them nearly as much as they feared. After all, asking for help is an act of strength.

 

Some ideas on how to ask for help: 

 

– Be sincere. The more heartfelt your ask is, the more others will relate and want to help. Make it a conversation, not a transaction. Share your story and the details that express why you’re asking for help.

– Find your support team. Is your best friend your biggest cheerleader? Do you have certain family members you rely on? Create a team that can support you. Even if they can’t help you directly, they might know others who can. 

– Choose the best sharing method. Phone calls to the people you’re really close to can be more personal and effective than texting or email, for example. Think about who you’re asking for help and what method of communication they might prefer. For example, sharing details about your GoFundMe on social media, text, or email might be the best option for people you have less day-to-day contact with. 

– Express gratitude. A thank you note is a simple yet effective way to show how grateful you are for assistance. Remind your supporters that they did the right thing by acknowledging their efforts, and they may just be inspired to help you again in the future.

 

These are a few tips from us, but we want to know: what’s helped you overcome feeling embarrassed? What advice would you give a friend?

 


248 replies

Userlevel 4

I too was embarrassed at first, Its one that puts the boundaries on thier own to not mess with one’s reputation, worrying about what others are  going to say, think and talk to put you down. The fear of getting judged, we all go through our problems and we all need a lift in times like these where we can move foward. Its something we all go through in life unfortunately. Theres no one in this world who hasnt fallen or needed help in their liftime . Theres a lot of generouse people out there that help because they know what it feels when your in need of help. I started a gofundme recently and I appreciate the help, no matter the quantity but the love that humanity shows, theres hope of people, its about patience and the people with good hearts helping you to lift us up. 
 

https://gofund.me/8d0f4026

Userlevel 2

I have tried to raise money to help me with medical and financial needs.. and my last dr apt was told more apts more frequent so that’s more debt and I can’t raise anything. I’m embarrassed and am not a person that ask for help. So i need to figure out something.. I’m sinking and feel like I’m drowning ..

Userlevel 2

Honestly I'm still embarrassed my self I really need help but this post kinda softening the blow and giving me courage

Userlevel 4
Badge +1

@Dee1324 I’m sorry you feel this way.  I can understand the stress of having medical issues that also cause money issues and put you in an uncomfortable position of needing help.  I have to agree with @Olivia in that people realy like to help.  I myself don’t have kids, I sometimes feel like I have nothing to be proud of, but giving and helping others does give me satisfaction that I couldn’t get any other way.  I am not alone, there are so many people out there that would love to help.  Have you already started your fundraiser?  If so could you share it, i’d like to help.  If not you really should.  Do you have anyone close to you that could write your gofundme on your behalf?  My friend Laurie was too embarressed to make her own so I made it on her behalf https://www.gofundme.com/manage/Estrada-Family-2021.  I know she would’ve never done it herself, and she still feels some embarressment but we know she shouldnt.   

Userlevel 4

I too was embarrassed at first, Its one that puts the boundaries on ourselves to not mess with one’s reputation, worrying about what others are  going to say, think and talk to put you down. The fear of getting judged, we all go through our problems and we all need a lift in times like these where we can move foward. Its something we all go through in life unfortunately. Theres no one in this world who hasnt fallen or needed help in their liftime . Theres a lot of generouse people out there that help because they know what it feels when your in need of help. I started a gofundme recently and I appreciate the help, no matter the quantity but the love that humanity shows, theres hope of people, its about patience and the people with good hearts helping you to lift us 

Userlevel 2

Im extremely nervous to do this. I’m trying to shake it but it’s not working 

Userlevel 1

I’m so embarrassed to ask for help that I can’t bring myself to use my real name or introduce myself but my situation is a desperate one. I can’t even bring myself to share this with my friends and family 

Userlevel 1

I’m so embarrassed to ask for help no knowing who will share or who would laugh I’ve been working so hard for my project and just need support and real love and feed back 

Userlevel 1

I need help and am scared to ask for it. The embarrassment and what people would say.  I have three beautiful little girls and am working and still about to lose everything. Pandemic really hurt me so far behind I don't know how I would catch it or even if I will. Already been to a couple churches for the food bank. I have reached out to the government to try to get help from them and have not received anything. I am scared and embarrassed but don't know what else to do

Userlevel 2

I am feeling so defeated. I need to come up with this money or I won’t be able to get my new hearing aids. I’ve gotten one donation, which I am so grateful for. I’m just worried that even with me sharing and getting the word out, I may not get the help I need 

Userlevel 1

Wondering why your own family don’t support for a good cause 

Userlevel 1

My father has passed.  My mother is not able to. And I don't speak to my brother.  That is why. Sorry I should not of ask. This is what am embarrassed about. 

Userlevel 1
Badge

No reason for anybody to feel embarrassed, everyone needs help every once in awhile BUT I will say, some of the posts on the Community page, are wild. Like people are really like, "I posted my link 30 mins ago but I still haven't got any donations, I need money now." Then some act like their problems are more important than other people's, like they deserve it more than/instead of other people & it's sad. I'll just go ahead & say it; no you're problems are absolutely not more important than anyone else's, no you absolutely do not deserve it more than anyone else, & contributors should absolutely not have donated to you "instead of" anybody else. If you truly need help, act like it. Don't act entitled because you're not, regardless of what you need it for.

 

& I'm not speaking about anybody specific, I've saw numerous posts like this, so don't come at me sideways. If you take offense to my comment, wellll that's on you; Don't be one of those entitled people, that act as if their problems make them more important/more deserved than everybody else & you wouldn't feel offended. 

Thank you so much for this because I am a little bit embarrassed to ask for a little help for me and my daughter lost my dad but I should be getting back on track very soon

but I might lose my car and I’m a little scared at this point below is our link

 

I hate asking people for help, I mean heck I can't even get help from my own parents when they have the means to help. So I hesitated to make a gofundme, however, after several people telling my husband I that we needed to make one, I bit the bullet. Since I have made the gofundme, I shared it on all my social media platforms and all those people who told us to make one have all ran and hid. It is frustrating, this was another reason I never made one because I knew it wouldn't help. I feel so lost and don't know what else to do.

Userlevel 3
Badge +1

I shared my link to my social media accounts, but I am afraid to ask anyone directly for help. I’m pretty sure I would be rejected by everyone I know if I asked them for help.

Userlevel 2

Wondering why your own family don’t support for a good cause 

Unfortunately not everyone has a family to lean on for support. I am thankful for my friends who have become my family though! 

Userlevel 2

I feel embarrassed to ask for help. I have created fundraisers in the past and unfortunately never received any help. I am embarrassed to share my current fundraiser yet again on Facebook as the ones I have shared in the past never received any donations.  It hurts to be struggling so much, and humbling yourself to ask for help yet feeling like nobody cares. Any amount can be so helpful if enough people get involved. 

Userlevel 1

hi this is the first time i have done this and embarrassed to ask only because I should be able to do it on my own but I'm homeless and its because my husband is on jail they were going to give him a signature bond but decoded to keep him his bond is 330 ..the extra is to get us away from here we need to leave to much trouble here to much jail for both of us ...we have been together for 8 years now I begged and pleaded with the police officer that took him ..to not take him he is my only means of survival  and he didnt care ..matter fact he threatend to take me also...the law doesnt care whos lives they ruin ...so I really need help ive been without him for Thanksgiving..christmas..New years..so I pray for help I need my husband home

Userlevel 2

I'm very sorry for your circumstance. I pray you get the help you need very soon. 

Userlevel 1

thank you so much I pray its very soon. He has been away to long we have never been apart on any holiday in 8 years ..

Userlevel 2

I shared a fundraiser to Facebook and one woman basically told me because I'm not the only one hurting and there are many people hurting financially as well, she was very rude about it all, and basically made it sound like I don't need help. It really hurt my feelings and was very humiliating. I realize that there are many many people out here hurting everywhere, including me and my husband. That was my point. I pray God helps us all. 

Userlevel 1

This is actually my biggest fear when setting up my gofund.me. I get it from my mom, we’re both so shy and embarrassed to ask for help that we’d almost rather suffer through the pain but I finally bucked up and made an account and so far I’ve been met with kindness!! 。゚(゚´ω`゚)゚。 

Userlevel 1

Im extremely nervous to do this. I’m trying to shake it but it’s not working 

Please please ask for help!! I am also so embarrassed to ask for help that I’d rather suffer but you will be truly surprised to see how much people want to help you!! Have a blessed day 

I get so embarrassed and that's why I don't get anywhere . It's so hard especially when you really need the help. I'm trying to get the funds to be able to get a place and get my grandkids and I don't know what else to do. At the present time I'm homeless band staying house to house and I know people get tired so I need help. Thanks you guys for listening 🙏

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