Feeling embarrassed to ask for help? You’re not alone.

Feeling embarrassed to ask for help? You’re not alone.
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Let’s get honest - asking for help can be really hard. We’re embarrassed and sometimes afraid of feeling rejected if we don’t get the help we need. But the truth is, eventually, everyone needs help. 

 

So, why should I bother asking for help?

Believe it or not, most people want to help. Humans find satisfaction in helping others and actually enjoy doing so– there’s lots of science behind this! Getting over that initial fear of asking is the hardest part. We’ve found that once people take that leap, others aren’t actually judging them nearly as much as they feared. After all, asking for help is an act of strength.

 

Some ideas on how to ask for help: 

 

– Be sincere. The more heartfelt your ask is, the more others will relate and want to help. Make it a conversation, not a transaction. Share your story and the details that express why you’re asking for help.

– Find your support team. Is your best friend your biggest cheerleader? Do you have certain family members you rely on? Create a team that can support you. Even if they can’t help you directly, they might know others who can. 

– Choose the best sharing method. Phone calls to the people you’re really close to can be more personal and effective than texting or email, for example. Think about who you’re asking for help and what method of communication they might prefer. For example, sharing details about your GoFundMe on social media, text, or email might be the best option for people you have less day-to-day contact with. 

– Express gratitude. A thank you note is a simple yet effective way to show how grateful you are for assistance. Remind your supporters that they did the right thing by acknowledging their efforts, and they may just be inspired to help you again in the future.

 

These are a few tips from us, but we want to know: what’s helped you overcome feeling embarrassed? What advice would you give a friend?

 


297 replies

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I have a problem asking for help, mostly because I'm always the one who helps. As a nurse, I worked constantly helping others, my children and my family and friends. Now my world changed when I moved 2800 miles away, with a surprise amputation that ended my career. It took 1.5 yrs to recover and walk again, with a prosthetic. Then came the pandemic! OMG. My disabled daughter and I had to survive so SSDI was all we had. My van bought new in 2007, a few months old, has held up with repairs. Then 2 weeks ago, a speeding car crashed us. There went my van.

I tried every possiblity but no way to pay for the damage. I never had an accident in 45yrs, so no collision. I was hurt by the jolting of my head violently jerking forward n back. Thank God my non verbal disabled teen was shook up, not injured. I incorrectly told cop what happened as I was confused, nauseous, dizzy from the accident. Now I have a ticket wrongfully given, no collision coverage and no means to get to Drs, get meds, food or anything else. While I'm getting crazy high estimates for simple fixes, I'm told it won't work, much needs repairing and replacing.

I have no choice at this point. We need our van. So here I am, embarrassed, upset and feeling terrible. But I'm doing what I need to in order to attempt to get the van repaired and on the road. Pride won't get it fixed, money will. I'm not a big social media person, but I do have some loyal followers from over a few yrs so, I just hope they don't feel obligated+annoyed. Body work is super high and I can't change that. I just know, my daughter needs Drs, testing and so do I, and we don't have public transportation here, which she wouldn't use anyway, with Autism.

So I'm here, on GoFundMe,, swallowing my pride and praying we get the funds to repair our van quickly. We waited so long for these specialty Dr appts, we must get there 3.5 hrs away.

So many need help and there are people, good people who can help. I truly hope our dilemma is shared, donations come in and life can go forward. Humans helping humans, helping children, helping moms, helping each other. God Bless those who need help and those who graciously give it.❤️

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Wondering why your own family don’t support for a good cause 

Im embaressed to even ask my family 

My family is small and my grown kids are on their own, working, college and doing well. They have their own expenses and doing it on their own. My mom is 87 and survives on SSA and my help. My only child, grown in her 40s has chosen to steal from her grandmother( stole her $990,000 house) that would have helped her brothers, sisters and me, but her greed took over. So we have no family to go to. It is more common than not.

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I love all the great tips here. My problem, a newbie here, is courage to share, share, share! I feel like I'm annoying people or they're going thru their own dilemmas so why would I burden them with mine? I've just posted my first 2, one Twitter and one FB, but I'm just leary about being embarrassed, annoying my FB " friends" and feeling rather inadequate. I doubt I'll reach the amount I need and time is vital, as each day passes and we're still without a vehicle. I hope I don't lose " friends" because of this.

I never thought I would see myself here… I hate this feeling, I’ve always been the type of person to give when I can! My mother got sick and it was like a domino effect. I keep telling myself just take it day by day but I’m drowning and have no one to turn to, I just feel completely alone! How do you reprogram yourself to say it’s okay to ask for help? It’s okay to be human and break from time to time? It’s okay to not be able to do everything yourself? I truly hope everyone on here finds some peace and faith! Cause it’s hard to keep pushing through a war! 

It has been hard asking for help. Embarrassing 😳.  People judge too easily. 

I have found being honest about what your true intentions are helps. People fear being taken advantage of. 

I am so nervous and embarrassed to send this link to my contact list and I am still shaking. If it were for me, I would never ask anyone, but this is for my uncle's kids, who need help; I don't have enough recourse to help these kids. I uploaded the story and started the campaign but this process is very slow than expected, and it's making me lose all hope. Any suggestions would be highly appreciated. Thank you in advance

I have to agree that it is embarassing to ask for help and humbling but when you have hit rock bottom from COVID layoffs and your pleas to lawmakers in this crisis and state agencies by phone and correspondence and emails with no response honestly feels like a betrayal from our politicians on the devastating impact that impacted our livelihoods where else are we to turn? When the directives and mandates imposed further harm on our income and the delays left us destitute, with no housing now and our savings wiped out we have no other alternative but to fundraise. I am trying to attain certifications for a business start up. We cant wait any longer.... its been 2 years and these application delays are only furthering the crisis. Before my last assignment I have worked in healthcare finance and accounting over a combined total of 20 years and price gouging is something I oppose in this industry. It is disheartening of what it is doing to patients financially and I am trying to raise awareness on it and the start up is to help patients and fraud detection and reporting and to help patients negotiate with providers legitimate balances of a reduction or a payment plan. These institutions do not understand the impact on patients financially and fair and reasonable pricing. Congressg should propose a bill to cap fees which can aid consumers tremendously from preventing price gouging in healthcare. 

I think my fundraiser is just too long and I dont know how to condense it without the details. 

I dont wanna be temporarily sheltered with strings or have someone use that as leverage to be controlling or isolate you because of your circumstances, it feels as if psychologically you are in chains trying to break free. I want my life back and it takes a toll on our mental health. These delays created a crisis no one imagined would have resulted from COVID19. 

Any tips would be so helpful and very much appreciated. STAY SAFE EVERYONE

 

I’m not one to ask for help. So using this platform to do a personal charity is kind of out of character for me and a bit embarrassing. But your post really shines some light on that everyone feels the same way asking for a hand in hard times. 

My father is the only one in my life at the moment. He’s given me a place to stay so I’m not on the streets, which I’m grateful for but financially he can’t help with more than that. It’s been hard after losing my house and moving states and running into one hardship after another to be like I can’t do this alone.

I enjoyed your post and thanks for making us feel less alone for asking for a hand at our lowest.

 

  • Michael

I’m not one to ask for help. So using this platform to do a personal charity is kind of out of character for me and a bit embarrassing. But your post really shines some light on that everyone feels the same way asking for a hand in hard times. 

My father is the only one in my life at the moment. He’s given me a place to stay so I’m not on the streets, which I’m grateful for but financially he can’t help with more than that. It’s been hard after losing my house and moving states and running into one hardship after another to be like I can’t do this alone.

I enjoyed your post and thanks for making us feel less alone for asking for a hand at our lowest.

 

  • Michael

Dear Michael,

I can understand what you are going through. Based on what you wrote and your campaign. Found a few links that could help you out in the meantime while your crowdfunding campaign as a resource also as my campaign has been up for months with no donors and I am trying to get tips on my situation and condensing my story to make it shorter. 

If your income is below the federal poverty level temporarily while you seek employment to assist with food and also temporary health ins thru Medicaid to hold you over while you search for employment. It may not be much but it may help. Also you can check out the other link to aid in your car repair situation to see if they can help to get your car running in your job hunt to secure a position. Hope these links help:

Auto Repair Good Guys Foundation is based in Arizona, and they can either recommend a trustworthy garage for you, or help you repair your car, possibly by providing free labor. Or try free DIY car repairs. Call 866-747-1331

 

APPLICATION for Food Benefits in AZ:https://benefitsapplication.com/program_info/AZ/Food%20Stamps

 

Sorry that I am unable to donate to your campaign being in crisis myself but I do hope these resources help. 

So I just created my first ever GoFundMe and I'm feeling a little iffy about it. I have never been the type to ask people for help much less strangers. I'm not sure if I should leave it up or just take it down. Has anyone gotten over this feeling, and if so how?

 

 

Its hard to ask for help when you are naturally the giver. I hope for endless blessings for everyone! 

 

Thank you 🤍 @JoAnn Marie 

@JoAnn Marie Thank you! I feel the same way and it gets discouraging especially when we are in crisis but we have to be strong, hang on and encourage one another.  I wish you the best and hope for a breakthrough for you and everyone else on this platform. 

Asking for help can be a bit discouraging, for me its seeing that many people you think would help or even share a post don’t. It’s hard seeing your closest friends not being supportive by not even a share and its a bit discouraging because you think other people wont share either. To my surprise there are more genuine people that are willing to help that barely know you. I started a gofund me for my sister because she recently lost her home and i have seen her struggle and it does in fact feel embarrassing  asking other for help and it sucks to feel that way. But it’s true, it does happen to all of us 

I feel embarrassed because I’m a mom of two and I hate that I just don’t have it all together. I keep a roof over our heads and their bellies full and they are more blessed than they realize. But it’s hard to admit that one big blow can mean the difference of paying the bills or not. And that’s scary. I’m almost 30, and I feel like so many other my age have it together and it just really is embarrassing to have to ask for help. But idk what else to do.

 

 

It definitely is hard to ask for help. I just created a go fund me to raise money for something other than myself and still feel horrible for asking. Oddly enough I gladly help others and see no shame in them asking.... but feels wrong for me to ask. 

I have donated to a few go fund me’s but have a big problem asking people to donate to me. I made one and want donations but am nervous to ask any friends or family.

This go fund me was hard to put up. I'm so depressed. Not to mention embarrassed. I've never had to rely on anyone to help me. I finally feel bad that my children struggle already and they feel bad cause they can't help me financially. And I just feel like a burden.

 

It's always been a struggle for me to ask for help. Its from childhood. I got tired of adults holding what they did for me over my head as a form of manipulation. I'm a giver and don't mind giving. Building my business has been rewarding to my soul, yet rough. When you start your own business, it can sound like crickets when it comes to the people you know supporting you. I did it though. Its been slow but Im still thankful but I know its gonna look up. 

Hello, this took a lot of swallowing pride to make this. I put a GoFundMe up because I am a disabled man living with progressive multiple sclerosis. I live on my own and I do not have any resources to ask for help when it comes to people that are able to financially help me or step in. Since the pandemic and seeing everyone's struggle I really was embarrassed to even ask but at this point I figured it cannot hurt. Trips to the doctor cost cab money and or train money for me to get to my appointments. Medication cost money, and basic living cost money. I am literally scraping pennies and I am falling behind in certain bills and I am not asking for much but I do need help. Finding any extra work has been hard as I am obviously disabled as in I use a cane on a daily basis or sometimes even a walker. I hate to say this but you can tell by the looks people give you when I go to apply for jobs for extra income that they assume I cannot do the task. It is frustrating and though I am trying because I am not a quitter I am desperately falling behind and I am scared. I just need help to catch up on a few bills and get back on my feet.

This is my first time doing this ever and I know it sucks with my pride of asking for help I'm embarrassed and feel less of a man cause I can barely hang on just for myself.

I never thought I would need to ask for help until tonight 🥺 For weeks I have been trying to figure out how to pay my car note and now it's almost 3 months past due. I cannot lose my vehicle. It is all I have for my family of 5. We have had some unexpected things happen lately that has made it so hard to get by. 

 

And for all of you mommas out there that are afraid to ask for help... I am right there with you. We always have to be the rock in the family holding everything together. We are strong for our kids and our spouses. We don't like to ask for help. Just know, you are not alone, and it is okay to ask for help. God Bless you all 🙏

My husband and I moved to a different city during the pandemic. Everything was good and fine until the war against Ukrainian started. Prices started going up for EVERYTHING. I know I’m not the only one struggling and there is worse things people are going through right now. That’s why I’m so embarrassed to ask for help. I have 3 dogs and I’ve been giving them my food. How embarrassing to lose my job, have my water and gas turned off, get evicted all in a month and a half. Please share you stories or advice! Thank you. Have a blessed day.

I just made my GoFundMe a few days ago to help out w/ medical bills. Still have a long way to go but I am more than grateful for what has been donated to me. If I hadn't taken that leap of Faith, who knows? My anxiety was through the roof through the entire process. I am not one to ask for help often. I'm the giver so this was very hard for me to do and I'm just proud of me for even taking that step. To anyone reading this, you got this. Praying for you all through your struggles. God bless. 🧡 

I'm homeless  my car broke down I'm 33 I have congestive heart failure  and I'm about to give up I can't keep living like this  I need help and has no one to turn I'm embarrassed  ashamed  stress and most of sad  idk what I'm doing up here but I'm trying 

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