How can I improve my fundraiser?

  • 25 November 2021
  • 11 replies
  • 270 views

Userlevel 2

I am in need of advice. I feel like im invisible.  i have a hard time asking for help ever...but then when i do (as im in tears now) i am completely and utterly invisible. I feel like I said too much, then I re-read what I wrote and it's not enough? 

My only child died leaving behind two beautiful children and me, her mom.  I was the kids caretaker (I lived with her, but I originally went there cuz I needed help/disabled (pd rent), but ended up helping her becuz she became an addict, she was high so much of the time (had to protect my grandbabies)

And my daughter's spouse is an alcoholic. When Shelby died the 3rd day before buried he was in bed with the girl I helped raise from 3rd grade till 17. 

He was drunk, she took advantage of my daughter's death.  I def could not agree with this relationship. 

It's 7.5mos later and I lived with my daughter, took care of my grandbabies, all while I'm sick/disabled (my story is there).  Being pretty much kicked out cuz of both of their guilt and shame.  Had to move somewhere temp. but this is where I'm lost.  INVISIBLE. 

Am I telling the story wrong?  Social Media is limited.  Need advice (If I'm really not invisible...) can anyone hear me?


11 replies

I am so sorry I know what feels like to loss of child

Userlevel 7
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Hey @Patricia Esquivel I’m so sorry to hear about this stressful situation and your loss. You are not invisible! We’re here for you and I’m happy to provide you advice. Once I’m done, I ask only one favor - to pass it forward by providing advice to someone else in the Exchange Fundraiser Advice Room. Just letting someone know what you thought of your fundraiser as a story can help someone make improvements that could help them raise more money. 

After reading your story, here’s a couple of ideas of adjustments  you can make:

  1. I recommend editing your title to be more descriptive. It currently doesn’t explain what you’re fundraising for.
  2. I would edit your story so the text is not in bold. Bold text makes it hard to read the story on certain devices. To edit your text, check out this article here. 
  3. It can be very difficult when facing tragedy, but try to write in a way that sounds confident. Anyone can get into a bad situation, and what happened to you is not your fault. For example, I would remove this line entirely, “When I have never asked for help before and even tho I'm embarrassed beyond words (still debating myself whether to take this down.or not).” Don’t be ashamed when asking for help when you need it.  
  4. Try to focus your story if you can and outline why you need funds and what they’re for. Is it for the kids, or is it for medical expenses? In your shoes, I would try to fundraise for one at a time. I would list exactly what the money is for and when you need it by.  

 

After you make your adjustments, I would share your fundraiser with people close in your life to see if they will help to seed your campaign with your first donations. Once you’ve received a couple of donations, you can start to share more broadly via social media, email, text message, and phone call. 

 

Userlevel 2

Oh my... Thank you!  I will def use your advice.  Exactly what I needed help with.  As soon as I re-do my message, I will pass it forward in some way.  Again I can't thank you enough for caring to help me.  Lots of love Patricia (charmm) Esquivel.

Userlevel 2

I am so sorry I know what feels like to loss of child

Im so sorry Bethany for your loss (and especially your child).

“The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”  Numbers 6:24-26

Userlevel 2

Hey @Patricia Esquivel I’m so sorry to hear about this stressful situation and your loss. You are not invisible! We’re here for you and I’m happy to provide you advice. Once I’m done, I ask only one favor - to pass it forward by providing advice to someone else in the Exchange Fundraiser Advice Room. Just letting someone know what you thought of your fundraiser as a story can help someone make improvements that could help them raise more money. 

After reading your story, here’s a couple of ideas of adjustments  you can make:

  1. I recommend editing your title to be more descriptive. It currently doesn’t explain what you’re fundraising for.
  2. I would edit your story so the text is not in bold. Bold text makes it hard to read the story on certain devices. To edit your text, check out this article here. 
  3. It can be very difficult when facing tragedy, but try to write in a way that sounds confident. Anyone can get into a bad situation, and what happened to you is not your fault. For example, I would remove this line entirely, “When I have never asked for help before and even tho I'm embarrassed beyond words (still debating myself whether to take this down.or not).” Don’t be ashamed when asking for help when you need it.  
  4. Try to focus your story if you can and outline why you need funds and what they’re for. Is it for the kids, or is it for medical expenses? In your shoes, I would try to fundraise for one at a time. I would list exactly what the money is for and when you need it by.  

 

After you make your adjustments, I would share your fundraiser with people close in your life to see if they will help to seed your campaign with your first donations. Once you’ve received a couple of donations, you can start to share more broadly via social media, email, text message, and phone call. 

===

I worked on it.  Is there anyway you can look it over again and let me know If better, or any other places I need to work on. I also added an update. 

Again thank you

charmm/Patricia

 

 

 

 

 

Userlevel 7
Badge +5

Hey @Patricia Esquivel 

I check out your page again. I do have some extra comments. Is it okay if I post parts of your story in this public thread, so I can address them one by one? 

Userlevel 2

Hey @Patricia Esquivel 

I check out your page again. I do have some extra comments. Is it okay if I post parts of your story in this public thread, so I can address them one by one? 

Yes plz.  Thank you

Userlevel 7
Badge +5

Thanks! Okay, so first I recommend making some changes to your title and main image. 

 

Here is your current title: Emergency, 'MY JOURNEY' Need Help, Place to Live

The rule for titles is to keep them clear and grab the attention of your readers. You have elements of this, but the grammar is a bit off, so it’s hard to process as a reader.  The key to headlines it to make them either unique, ultra specific, or useful to your reader.

  • Here’s an example of an ultra-specific title: A $33 donation could protect my safety. 
  • Here’s an example of a unique and curiosity inducing title: Have you ever taken your home for granted?  or The Home and Healing Fund
  • Here’s an example of a useful title: Your generosity will make an immediate impact

 

For your main image, I love how you choose pictures of your family. That’s fantastic!  However, the sizing is a bit off. Do you have any photos of your family that fit better? It’s okay if you don’t. It’s not the most important parts of these edits. 

 

Here are some idea for your story: 

I would remove this entire part, which I’ve put into italics, since you want to jump into the most important information first. 

=======================================================================

How do I begin? Where do I begin?  Is anyone out there? My prayer: Lord please help me not be discouraged,  I trust in You.  

  Just telling my story helps tremendously and seeing how the Lord helps me from here..

Hi I go by the name, Charmm (putting my face to my name).

====

In Photo:

*Shelby (my daughter>only child) DIED March 20, 2021, she was just 35yrs old.  Leaving behind my two grandbabies (in photo).

*Jackson turns 6yrs old December 2nd.

*Tessa turned 4yrs old this past June

And I'm their Nana/charmm aka Patricia.

=======================================================================

Instead, I would use 1-2 lines to say who you are, and a tiny bit about you.

 

Something like, “My name is Charmm. For those who don’t know me well, I’m a loving grandmother who, until recently, lived to make my kids and grandchildren’s lives special. Although sickness has followed me for some time now, I’ve still managed to find energy to support my family. That is until tragedy struck, and I lost my daughter Shelby. 

 

As you can imagine, this changed everything. 

 

Something like that! 

 

Next, as much as I can see that you put your heart into writing your journey, I would try to condense to focus on what you need, which is a home. You can mention your loss of health and issues with your family as something that has contributed to this situation, but I wouldn’t write more than a paragraph or two with four sentences to talk about it. Each sentences should have about 12 words or less.  

 

Skip the part about the Facebook group, or living for your grandkids. It sounds like an interesting story, but you can use this in updates or as additional information later on. Instead, loosely tell people why you need to leave in one sentence. 

 

Near the end of your story, you can talk about how finding a home will help you in life. It will provide you safety, allow for your independence, help you move forward after such a dramatic life change, and help you continue to take care of yourself and give back. Something positive makes people feel good about donating! 

 

Finally, be sure to add some ideas for people to help you in other ways. For example, what if they have a temporary place you can stay at, or if they know somewhere with cheaper rents? 

 

This is the my website to help a single mother, who lost her only sibling, a brother, and his death was tragic, and she found out that she was pregnant with a baby boy, which she will name after her brother, because he left no kids, so now she can keep his name alive, but just recently found out the baby have fluid on his brain, hopefully he’ll be okay.    Please look at it, and give me your advice how I can make it more noticeable to get donations.  https://gofund.me/1a5074c6

Userlevel 7
Badge +5

Hi @Sunshine1, welcome. Right now, it’s hard to tell what your fundraiser is about. Have you had a chance to look at our post on how to write a fundraising story yet? Make sure it’s descriptive and includes the following elements: 

  • A short introduction about who you are and what you’re raising money for 
  • Your relation to the beneficiary of the fundraiser (if it's not yourself) 
  • How the money raised will be spent (be as specific as possible) - how did you come to the $10,000 goal amount? 
  • Why this cause means so much to you 
  • Pictures to break up the text

 

Lastly, I do want to mention that since most of the donations usually come from people you know, it’s important to share your fundraiser link with your friends and family as much as possible both on and offline. 

Userlevel 2
Badge

@Patricia Esquivel I’m also somewhat new to this.  I don’t do social media really at all but I created a GoFundMe https://www.gofundme.com/f/Estrada-Family-2021 9 months ago and have had some success just in the past few days.  I thought i’d share how.  Immediately after creating my fundraiser I shared it with my friends and family via text message, copying and pasting the link into texts.  I called a few people who I am closer to like my parents to make sure they donated.  I got 15 donations totaling around $1,300 and every single one was someone I knew.  Fast forward to a few days ago, i was on the NextDoor app reading a post about this lady who was hoeless and there was an outpouring of support for her.  So I thought this is a compassionate crown.  I posted my story and the link to the GoFundMe page and in 48 or so hours have 78 Donations totaling almost $5,000.  I’ve been careful to personally thank every single donor both on NextDoor and GoFund Me.  And I’m still learning.  But theres the little bit of success I’ve found.

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