Need someone to review my writing

  • 14 November 2021
  • 3 replies
  • 66 views

Is there anyone willing to take a look at my GoFundMe and see if the actual wording and story needs to or can be improved upon? 


3 replies

Userlevel 5
Badge +4

I’m happy to help @Tiffany Stojanik!  

For anyone else who wants to participate, here is her fundraiser link: https://gofund.me/756da1f4

I love the introductory sentence. It gets you really excited to read what’s below. However, there isn’t a story that comes! Instead, you dive right into talking about the product. 

I would love to hear more about how this product works, how you came up with it, why we should trust you (are you an engineer? Have you been diving since you were a kid?)  and exactly how it helps divers.  Build up your credibility with your readers first, to help build trust in this idea. Next, I would try to show images of your prototype, and you, if you can. Most of your donations will come from people you know, so you will want your face to stick out on their timelines. Finally, I would break down the expenses of what you need, why you need those specific things, and when you’re trying to get them by.

Bonus: Talk about what happens after you’ve built your new prototype with the materials you’d like to try. 

 

 

Hi Jules. You commented on my writing a couple of weeks ago. I am now trying to rewrite it but can’t find the original to edit/rewrite it. Can you please help me?

 

Userlevel 5
Badge +4

Hey @Danny LaPrade 

Is this your fundraiser here? https://www.gofundme.com/f/Safe-Recovery-House 

Your story is under the “Read more” section. 

You can also access what’s written from your fundraiser editor by signing into your account. Check out this article to learn more. 

GoFundMe doesn’t have previous versions, so hopefully that’s the story you were looking for!

 

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