Can someone read my story and let me know if it is presented well, and if the subject is too sensitive to some, which could possibly lead to a lack of support?

  • 14 May 2022
  • 1 reply
  • 24 views

I posted this first under another older post, but hoping to have it not be missed I’m reporting it here.

 

I did my best to be detailed while trying to keep to the point, I’m not sure about the best way of doing this. I know for some this is a subject of controversy and that fact has made this situation leaving me feeling quite alone and unsure who to even talk to about it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, God Bless you! 

 

https://gofund.me/4309026f

 


1 reply

Userlevel 7
Badge +7

Hey @Joshua Brewer Thank you for sharing your story with us and I’m so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. 

 

The only suggestion I would have is to try to condense it into a few shorter paragraphs, maybe 4-5 paragraphs tops with 5-7 sentences in each. In addition, I noticed there was some information that was repeated, that you could probably remove to make the story even clearer.  Finally, I would try to go into more detail about what costs make up your goal total. 

 

Other than that, you did a great job taking your reader along the harrowing journey with you.

 

 

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