Is my story detailed enough?

  • 23 November 2021
  • 4 replies

I'm just wondering if anyone could tell me if my story is detailed enough or to much lol or what. I'm not the person to usually do stuff like this but stuff happens. I would appreciate any feed back preferably no rude comments. Thanks in advance. Bless you all 

4 replies

Userlevel 7
Badge +8

I’d love to help you @Shelyn Collier Would you mind sharing your story’s text here with me? 

@Jules I think I'm doing it right I'm not sure 

I’d love to help you @Shelyn Collier Would you mind sharing your story’s text here with me?  I this this is it. Anything would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 

Userlevel 7
Badge +8

Thanks @Shelyn Collier 

I reviewed your fundraiser and have some ideas for you. 

  • Focus on fundraising for one thing, whichever is most important right now. What will cause more problems for you if you get behind - the car payment or the storage? 
  • I recommend that you go over your fundraiser to proofread it. I’m seeing mistakes with some grammar, which makes it harder to read. For example, make sure to capitalize names, places, and the first letter in a sentence. There’s some spelling errors too. For example, I see that you’ve written “Loosing hope” instead of “Losing hope.” Fixing these errors will make it easier on your readers to decipher your story. 
  • I would try to be as positive as possible within your story. People need to believe that their contribution will change your situation, otherwise they won’t feel motivated to help. Saying things like, “I feel like losing hope and I'll never get out of this huge hole that was dug for me and left no shovel” might make your readers feel defeated. It’s better to focus on how their contribution will change your life and what it will mean for you if they help you. 
    • Focus on solutions instead of consequences. Instead of saying, we are losing our property, and I might have to pull my son out of school, I would say if we can get this covered, I can continue working, we can keep our stuff, and my son can stay in school. 

Most donations usually come from people you know, so I would reach out to your contacts with your fundraiser and let them know that you’re in a sticky situation and could use some help to get back on your feet after this curveball. 

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