Proofread my story

  • 21 November 2021
  • 3 replies
  • 33 views

I am also new to GoFundMe. Can someone tell me if my story is good? Does it have too much detail?


3 replies

Userlevel 4
Badge +4

Hey @Amanda Baker You did a great job on this fundraiser! The one thing I might edit is the number of exclamation points. It can come off a bit like you’re yelling or using upspeak. 

 

Next, you will want to share the fundraiser with people who know and want to support Macie. It would also be worthwhile to post a video of Macie saying how important it would be if she could get some help to chase her dreams. 

 

Thank you so much for that input. I have actually edited my story (again🙄). How does it look now?

Userlevel 4
Badge +4

Hey @Amanda Baker Love it. This is ready to be shared, but I do have a couple of other recommendations if you’re interested. 

  1. I would remove some of those exclamation points, which can make you feel like you’re being yelled at when you’re a reader.  It also makes the fundraiser feel less serious. 
  2. I would add how you arrived at your goal amount and what are the consequences of not reaching your goal - like will Macie have to wait until next year to participate?
  3. What are some other ways people can help if they cannot donate at this time.

 

Later on, once you start raising money, I recommend posting updates of Macie’s skills! As a gymnastic fan myself, and an aunt of a gymnast, it’s always fun to see what they’re capable of. 

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